It is Halloween.

There is a full Blue moon outside.

I just got home from an intimate and delightful wedding ceremony for two of the coolest people I know. I do not say that lightly here, Peter and Emily are phenomanally interesting to me. I aspire to inhabit my space the way they do theirs. I am constantly in amazement and deeply delighted somehow I’ve made my way to these people.

I am unsure I’m keeping up my end of the awesomeness bargain this year.

Here we are – 60 days left of 2020. This year that acknowledge was full of stressors we aren’t able to fully comprehend, that I feel also delivered a lot of gifts in terms of flexibility and time. Tonight I feel very much like I have squandered the gifts of this year.

I look around and see how people rose to challenges this year, how they still conquered. I want to feel like that.

One of the few outings I had early in 2020 prior to pandemic was coffee with Emily, the bride from this evening. She was talking about a challenging part of her relationship and said something she had to remember is that everything is a choice. If she wasn’t willing to accept a thing, she had a choice to do something about it – leave, talk about it, set boundaries, etc. I have squandered choice this year.

There is work to be done.